Before I met my alcoholic loved one, I had asked God to just bring me the man that He wanted in my life. I had been dating for several months and was tired of the dating scene. I just wanted someone I could connect with and love immensely and someone who could love me back the same way.
When I met my alcoholic loved one, I had no idea he was an alcoholic. We had an instant connection. It was magical and akin to love at first sight. The first few weeks were pure bliss. We were inseparable. Everything seemed to be going along beautifully. But then, I started to notice behavior that didn’t seem normal. He would call me late at night with conversations that didn’t make sense. I would notice he would drink even during the work week. To my dismay, after several months I realized he was an alcoholic.
At some point, I was so angry at God. After all, I had asked Him to bring the man He wanted in my life. I wasn’t being selfish or trying to assert my desires at the time. I couldn’t understand why God had brought me this lovely man but who was an actively drinking alcoholic.
I don’t give up easily and I don’t give up faith. I knew that if God put him here, there must be a reason and I was on a mission to find out. At first I thought that mission was to help my alcoholic loved one. I really did. But after a failed family intervention and several (hundred) attempts at trying to get him to want to get help, I realized it might be something else.
What God was trying to do was to mold and form me into the person He wanted me to be. He increased my faith in Him and increased my patience. He increased my capacity to love and to pray. He made me more cognizant of compassion and understanding. He helped me learn that I need to rely on Him first and not on any other human over Him.
I have to constantly remind myself that God makes no mistakes. If your alcoholic loved one is in your life or was in the past, there is a reason. Look for that reason, dig deep. Your learning and growing is an integral part of this experience.
In truth, nobody asks for an experience of being in a relationship with an alcoholic. But while your there it might be worth asking, “What got me here?” “What can I learn from this?”
I like to look at life is a great big test composed of mini-tests or mini-quizzes. If you pass the test, you get to move on to the next level. Our experiences do not have to define us, but we can be refined by our experiences.
Which one do you choose? How will you let your experience with your alcoholic loved one shape you?
Wishing you many blessings!
Love,
Michelle
Michelle Fondin is the author of Help! I Think My Loved One Is an Alcoholic: A Survival Guide for Lovers, Family and Friends & of The Wheel of Healing with Ayurveda: An Easy Guide to a Healthy Lifestyle (New World Library, 2015)
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View my videos on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVqaG-zGU_U&t=4s
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